December 29th, 2006 (06:13 pm)
current mood: pensive
Obviously I write about Sage in my other journal a lot more often than I come here & write about life in general. That's mostly because horsepeople get obsessed...in a good way...I hope. ;-)
But I definitely had some 'deep thoughts' going on as we celebrated Christmas...and those go in here...the horsefree zone. ;-)
One thing I'm thinking about is different socio-economic classes, and how their values are different. I think about this stuff every year at Christmas, mostly because I am in such a different socioeconomic class from my parents. Every year my upper middle class and upper class parents get me these amazing gifts, and every year I'm lucky if I can scrape together $100 to spend on all 4 parental units, my brother AND my fiance. If I want to spend a little on my friends or 'nieces' it ends up being about $10 a person.
The other thing swirling around my brain is the amount of effort involved in Christmas. And the amount of waste. I stayed up until 4:30 this year wrapping. My fiance has had some health problems lately...I never did write in here about his gallbladder coming out in an emergency procedure, did I? Anyways, he had a toxic reaction to the sulfa antibiotics prescribed to him (we think). In excruciating pain from head to toe with muscle spasms, a rash, and a low grade fever. Spent most of a day at the local hospital's ER...then he needed some rest. So it was me myself and I wrapping this year late on Christmas Eve. It was hard doing Christmas more or less by myself. And the next day, my 'nieces' each had about 6 gifts, my mom had 4, and everyone else had one, plus brownies I baked. It wasn't much to show for what felt like a fair amount of effort...between all the shopping, budgeting, earning the money in the first place, buying all the stuff to wrap the presents, the time spent wrapping them, and then more time spent cleaning up all the mess.
And when I think about how much effort that was, and then think about all the gifts my mom and step-dad got me, I am truly astounded at how much effort it must have taken. My mom and step-dad got me a bunch of stocking stuffers, a glass Tupperware container (so I won't be attacked by the xenoestrogens in plastic that get released in a microwave (lol, thanks mom)), paid for my saddle!!!!, got me long underwear, a day planner, a case of oil for my car, socks, a Christmas ornament, special gluten free bagels and cookies that my mom had to order ahead of time online, and an amaryllis bulb for forcing. My mom also cooked an amazing meal with roast vegetables, roast beef, roasted brussel sprouts, and chocolate mouse for dessert.
This is where I start thinking my deep thoughts...which run along the lies of being totally in awe of what my mother can accomplish. And also leads me to wonder if I will ever be grown up enough to accomplish those same things.
The amount of planning, and energy, and money that goes into that kind of event amazes me. I don't plan THAT well, and haven't ever had the money or cooking expertise to do a dinner like that. guess I better attempt one at our house...just as soon as we have a bit of spare cash.
It also leads to me thinking about STUFF. Because that's JUST what my mom and step-dad got for me. Then there's all the presents from my dad and his wife, and then even more presents from my dad's side of the family; his sisters and my grandmother. I got ski passes and a wool / cashmere blend sweater, a gorgeous scarf, jewelry, a book on website design, a shirt made 40% out of hemp, more socks...
Then there's the presents from my fiance's mom. Our house has been magically filled with junk. Some of its really nice junk, but we were living just fine without it last week so why do we need it all now?
I wonder how old you have to get, as someone's niece, before they stop giving you presents...before YOU become the central generation. The "Adults" always get fewer presents. My step-dad hardly gets any, and neither does my dad. My mom gets a few more. Do you have to have your own kids for that to happen? I mean, I'm 27 years old and I still get a gazillion presents as if I was NINE, and meanwhile my parents get less than half as much crap I mean presents as I get. And they work soooo hard giving me so much stuff. Its not that I mind or dislike it...I'm just searching for a way to be a grownup too.